Wednesday, February 10, 2010

i don't understand myself.

anytime i see anything related to you online
anytime i get a text from you
anytime you i/m me
anytime i see a new picture of you
anytime you call

i get a horrible feeling in my gut.
my heart starts racing.
i feel it beating against my chest.

i think it's a butterfly feeling.
i don't know if it's butterflies.
i don't know if it's sadness.
i don't know if it's stress.
i don't know if it's me wanting to die.
i don't know if it's me wanting to leave and disappear.
i don't know.
i need to know.
i need to figure myself out.

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